Recollections Of A First Date

“乌金石，十元一串。”

The price was the same thirteen years ago during my first trip to China. Based on a crush I had on Danny, I had bought the black stone wristband for him and he had reciprocated by treating me to dinner and a movie.

He took me to a Japanese restaurant at Takashimaya where I remembered having Zarusoba. It was my first time having it and I was unsure about how it should be eaten.

“I think you are supposed to put the wasabi into the sauce and use it as a dip for the noodles,” Danny suggested.

I tried Danny’s suggestion. For a while we ate in silence. What does one say on a date anyway? I glanced at Danny who seemed nonchalant about the awkward pause. Perhaps that’s normal for a first date? I had dreamed about this date for many months but now that it was actually happening, I had no idea how a date worked.

“The wristband you gave me was really cool,” Danny said, breaking the silence.

I stopped slurping my noodles and smiled at him.

“I had the stones rethreaded using fishing line. All friends were quickly filled with envy upon seeing it and kept asking me where I got it,” Danny continued.

“It’s nothing much. It doesn’t cost a lot either,” I said, realizing for the first time that Danny wasn’t wearing the wristband.

“Then the other day when I was flagging a taxi, the fishing line suddenly broke. The stones scattered all over the road.”

So that’s why you’re not wearing it. “Oh dear, so what did you do?” I enquired.

“There was nothing I could do. Both my hands were full carrying my work and a taxi came. I couldn’t pick up all the pieces so I boarded the taxi,” Danny explained.

Like the scattered pieces of the black stone wristband, that first date with Danny never developed into anything important. Yet as I stood there in front of the souvenir shop, that memory of my first date with Danny brought back a treasured emotion. A feeling of time lost, innocence, youthful inexperience and discovery piled into a moment of reflection.

“给我一串。”

Unreachable

"Are you ok?" I thumbed the sms on my handphone. I had sent an sms this morning but did not get a response from you. Our tour agency also called me earlier to confirm the hotel we would be staying in in Penang. We had given both our contact numbers to the agency, so they must have called me because they couldn't get through to you.

There were a few occasions when you became totally unreachable during the span of our relationship. The first was when you were upset at the start of our relationship because I was unsure about committing to you. The second was when we disagreed about America's reaction to 911 and you became upset with me after our quarrel.

This time I know you just need the space. So I don't press you, leaving a line out in case you need someone to talk to.

Moments later, you replied, "Sorry, been busy. Just sent my mother home and will be going back to the hospital."

"Ok, take care," I messaged.

A Light Drizzle In Macau

From amidst the vast expanse of silvery clouds, a light drizzle formed and began to fall. Its threads swayed gently by the mild autumnal breeze, descended onto Avenida de Almeida Ribeiro where we stood. I held an umbrella between us and you held me by my shoulders to get closer under our small shelter. It is thus that we shared a discreet yet cosy embrace.

Public displays of male intimacies are usually frowned upon, except when it rains.

I snuggled up closer to you as the traffic light changed and we began to cross the road.

Casinos And Rolex Watches

All the display windows featured dazzling arrays of branded watches. I grimaced at a diamond-studded gold Rolex with disgust but turned to see you browsing with interest.

"Are they expensive?" I asked, hiding my disinterest.

"I'm not sure. Let me search for a model I'm familiar with," you replied. "How much is 6000 Macau money in Singapore dollars?"

"About $1200."

"It's cheap then. That watch has a resale value of $2000 back home," you said, pointing to a rather plain-looking Rolex.

A single Chinese character on each of the neon signboards of these watch galleries betrayed the shops' true business dealings - they were all shops that resold expensive items given to them as collaterals.

"It's not surprising to see so many of these shops here within close proximities of the Casinos. If you win money, you can buy a Rolex home; if you lose, you can try your luck again after selling off your Rolex."

I thought about the Casinos to be built in Sentosa back in Singapore and wondered if such businesses would be the future of Sentosa.

100 RMB Notes

I picked up a pencil and started marking a little "FF" on each of the hundred RMB notes.

"The usual tactic taxi drivers may employ is simple," you explained. "When you hand them a hundred RMB note for payment, they will pretend to study it. After a while, they will claim that you have given them a counterfeit. However, in the process of returning your note to you, they will switch your real note with one of their own counterfeit ones, thereby profiting your hundred RMB."

"In such a situation, just remain calm," you continue. "Pretend to curse that you have been handed a counterfeit and take your time searching for another note to pay him with. Then, claim that you have lost your passport or identity card and get the driver to take you to the nearest police station. Report the incident to the police when you are there. It is but a simple matter for the police to search the driver and find the marked note you used for payment earlier."

I nodded and started marking the second stack of notes.

Holiday Plans

rezipping:

hi dear.

you:

hi dear, so u just finish shower

rezipping:

ya, just came out

you:

ok, have u finish with those marking and paper setting

rezipping:

finish paper setting but still got marking

you:

ok

rezipping:

so are you free to take leave in dec?

you:

dun know yet... any plan

rezipping:

jetstar to hk is about 98 each way

you:

oh... that cheap

rezipping:

ya, but have to find hotel

you:

that true and that is peak period

rezipping:

can't be helped mah

you:

ok, when must be confirm ?

rezipping:

asap then can book mah

you:

err... i must check loh

rezipping:

hotel is from 110 per night per room, wonder if hk got gay guesthouse or not?

you:

how many day u intent to stay

rezipping:

maybe 4 days in hk? is it too much? then maybe 2 days in shenzhen?

you:

ok

rezipping:

about a week in all?

you:

i check then let u know

rezipping:

ok

you:

i going to bed liao, good nite

rezipping:

ok, gd nite

Castro, San Francisco

Sis and I took mom to Castro.

Mom was noticably uncomfortable walking down Castro street after we told her that it was a gay district. She refused to acknowledged that same sex couples were holding hands freely. She grumbled when I bought souvenir rainbow flags with stands. She preferred to wait outside the boutiques while we shopped.

I was noticably more impatient with mom for I felt sad that she was still unaccepting of my being gay.

Then she asked if I had called you on the telephone since we left Singapore and I knew I had misunderstood her. For whatever reasons she was uncomfortable with Castro, it wasn't because I was gay.

My Brokeback Mountain

For months and months, you've been working 7 days a week. I stay by you and try to be as understanding as I can. Though I yearn to go on a holiday with you, just a short one, or go shopping, or even spend a day doing nothing except to watch a dvd, I make no requests.

Then out of the blue, you tell me you are going on a fishing holiday with your buddy. You cannot imagine the disappointment I feel right now. I almost need to throw up...