16 August 2006

Problems At Work

I met you for dinner at 10pm after you came back from the police station. One of your sales staff was involved in a money embezzlement case and you were tasked with the difficult job of reporting him.

You were parked by the side of the road. I sat in your car and listened as you spoke to the perpetrator's distraught wife on your handphone. It was a most unpleasant conversation.

I slipped my hands into yours and we held hands. I realised then that we haven't held hands for a long time. It still feels nice.

14 August 2006

Differences

I guess we are very different people.

I have a B.Sc. (Hon) while you stopped school after sec 2. But sometimes, I am able to help you draft letters, emails or documents when you need.

Your network of friends and contacts is amazing while I hardly keep in touch with people from my previous jobs. But sometimes, you just need to pick up the phone and call a friend when I require services like air-con maintenance, bulk photocopying, electrical installations, discounted leather products, affordable computers and assessories.

I am a teacher while you are a sales manager. But at the end of the week, we will both sit on our black leather sofa and talk about our own work. I will tell you about my naughty students and the loads of marking I need to do and you will tell me about the strategies you have employed on your customers to get that deal and the difficult sales staff you have had to work with.

I am glad we are different. How else will we have so much to talk about?

01 August 2006

The Androgynous Pastor

Mom about her one of her customers, “The first time I saw him, I couldn’t decide if he was a man or a woman. He was dressed a man, but he was gentle and soft-spoken and you aren’t really sure. You can tell he was the thrifty type, but he was a good customer and never haggled over the price of the things he bought.

Then out of the blue, he informed us that he was getting married. He looked like he was in his late forties so we were quite surprised but we congratulated him of course. He then went on to share about how his fiancée was planning a high budget wedding and complained about how she was digging into his finances.

The next time I saw him, about three months later, he said he was no longer getting married. The excuse was that he was uncomfortable with the way his money was being spent.”

“He loves someone enough to want to marry her but gives her up because he doesn’t want to afford the wedding?” I was intrigued.

“Yes, he’s weird.” Mom replied.

“Perhaps he’s really gay and was pressurised into marriage by his family or church?” I suggested.

Mom looked thoughtful, “We will never know.”

Assuming my suggestion about the pastor was true, I told her I couldn’t imagine myself leading such a life of denial and self-rejection.

This blog is a diary originally published on Fridae, the gay asian portal. It started out as little rants about my relationship. However when some Fridae members wrote expressing sympathy towards my seemingly disastrous relationship, I realised that I had been writing only at the times when my relationship was at low points. In an attempt to record a fuller picture of my relationship, I have been recording other emotions (apart from frustrations) we have encountered.