04 June 2007

Unreachable

"Are you ok?" I thumbed the sms on my handphone. I had sent an sms this morning but did not get a response from you. Our tour agency also called me earlier to confirm the hotel we would be staying in in Penang. We had given both our contact numbers to the agency, so they must have called me because they couldn't get through to you.

There were a few occasions when you became totally unreachable during the span of our relationship. The first was when you were upset at the start of our relationship because I was unsure about committing to you. The second was when we disagreed about America's reaction to 911 and you became upset with me after our quarrel.

This time I know you just need the space. So I don't press you, leaving a line out in case you need someone to talk to.

Moments later, you replied, "Sorry, been busy. Just sent my mother home and will be going back to the hospital."

"Ok, take care," I messaged.

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This blog is a diary originally published on Fridae, the gay asian portal. It started out as little rants about my relationship. However when some Fridae members wrote expressing sympathy towards my seemingly disastrous relationship, I realised that I had been writing only at the times when my relationship was at low points. In an attempt to record a fuller picture of my relationship, I have been recording other emotions (apart from frustrations) we have encountered.