Castro, San Francisco

Sis and I took mom to Castro.

Mom was noticably uncomfortable walking down Castro street after we told her that it was a gay district. She refused to acknowledged that same sex couples were holding hands freely. She grumbled when I bought souvenir rainbow flags with stands. She preferred to wait outside the boutiques while we shopped.

I was noticably more impatient with mom for I felt sad that she was still unaccepting of my being gay.

Then she asked if I had called you on the telephone since we left Singapore and I knew I had misunderstood her. For whatever reasons she was uncomfortable with Castro, it wasn't because I was gay.

Your Birthday

Lunch and a movie?

UOB gives special discount to card members who dine at selected restaurants on their birthdays. We should take advantage of it.

Also, we have been planning to catch The Da Vinci Code since way before it was released but just never got around to doing it. Unfortunately, not many cinemas are still showing it. Good thing you are off tomorrow so we can catch it during one of the afternoon screenings at Golden Village.

We are still together.

My Brokeback Mountain

For months and months, you've been working 7 days a week. I stay by you and try to be as understanding as I can. Though I yearn to go on a holiday with you, just a short one, or go shopping, or even spend a day doing nothing except to watch a dvd, I make no requests.

Then out of the blue, you tell me you are going on a fishing holiday with your buddy. You cannot imagine the disappointment I feel right now. I almost need to throw up...

Photos

In an attempt to curb this new heart ache, I sought out the old photo albums. We haven't had many pictures taken together, but I thought they might suffice for the time being.

The ache subsided.

Mom doesn't want me displaying your photo by my bedside. I know she loves you but she's still in the closet, so I don't contradict her. The photo albums have to go back into the cupboard.

Your Birthday

It's your birthday tomorrow. Dinner reservations have been made, our guest has been invited; but we are not speaking to each other. Once more, we find ourselves in the familiar position we were in last September.

Should I send you a birthday sms tonight at midnight as is our tradition? Or should I just strike off the dinner appointment tomorrow?

Do I need to start rezipping my life all over again?

Perhaps it's best not to ask, not to tell.