The End Of A Story

The End.

Mixed Feelings

Like facial age lines, silently they creep into you, causing no big commotion yet surely they leave their marks. Perhaps the comfort of routine, weekend after weekend, pass without us keeping track or making any effort to justify the relationship, allowed it. Perhaps the distractions of work and the need for life to be more exciting excused it. And we find ourselves familiar with each other yet at the same time strange to any feelings of romance.

Is it enough for us to be best friends to each other?

I can't bring myself to end it. Yet, surely this isn't a romantic relationship anymore? Do other couples allow themselves to live thus?

Then again. There isn't any real reason to end it. Except for the utterly predictable patterns and answers in our lives.

But it continues. Without direction. Where else can this go? Where is the next level?

Mocca And The Taxi Driver

Changing into my gym gear, I stole a glance at the only other person in the men's changing room. He was quite a big guy, resembling the bodybuilder in the I-selling-my-house-at-Mocca.com advertisement, except that he allowed his thinning hair to dangle sparsely above his shoulders.

Another one entered. Mocca's face lit up with recognition, smiled and nodded a greeting. The other nodded in return.

"How's the taxi?" Mocca asked.

"Fed up!" fumed the taxi driver.

"How come?" enquired Mocca.

"I was waiting for a passenger near an office building. My passenger was late but the appointed pick-up point was at the side of the building. No parking was allowed there but I decided to wait for a while as an ang-moh had his BMW parked in front of me, apparently also waiting for someone.

Soon the building's security guard approached. He ignored the ang-moh but motioned for me to move my vehicle. I pointed at the ang-moh's BMW indignantly but it was in vain; the security guard persisted in waving me away. Luckily, my passenger appeared just in time and a conflict was avoided."

"People just don't respect taxi drivers," sighed the taxi driver.

I caught sight of Mocca shaking his head sympathetically as I left the changing room.

Our Gay Agenda

Finally! You have an off day tomorrow! This is what we will do:

1. Sleep till 10 AM.
2. Drive to Tanjong Pagar where we will have brunch. I really miss the Nasi Lemak at the Tanjong Pagar hawker centre.
3. You need to buy some computer parts to repair your nephew's computer so we will need to make a trip to Sim Lim Square.
4. Come home and bathe the dogs.
   
5. Rest a bit before making our way to the gym.
6. Meet mother for dinner.
7. Send mother back home.
8. Come home.

That's our gay agenda, I guess.

Reflections After A Wedding

I had just attended a colleague's wedding.

"How was the wedding?" the boy's sms said.

"Charming," I replied, "Almost makes you want to get married yourself."

"LOL," the boy responded.

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My grandmother is in her late eighties. In a subtle way, she always tried to find out about my relationship status. And I always tried to tell her the truth, albeit in a subtle way.

Some may wonder why she needs to be subtle, afterall as a grandmother, she could nag at me to get married as most other grandmothers do. Fortunately for me, as the eldest grandson, I have been enjoying the privilege of always getting my way with her so she doesn't contradict me very much. Furthermore, she knows that if she nags at me, I would switch from the pleasant, filial grandson into a stubborn, defiant, spoilt brat. Thus I have been spared from such conflicts.

Others may suggest for me to come out to her. That's an idea. Though I wonder how she might take that. I certainly don't want to be the one responsible for making her pass out from shock or disappointment that I'll never get married. At her age, who knows what might happen.

Yet, I wonder how she and the rest of my family members would react if I should announce one day that I was getting married... to another man. For some reason, the possible reactions excite me greatly. Almost makes you want to get married yourself.

Recollections Of A First Date

“乌金石，十元一串。”

The price was the same thirteen years ago during my first trip to China. Based on a crush I had on Danny, I had bought the black stone wristband for him and he had reciprocated by treating me to dinner and a movie.

He took me to a Japanese restaurant at Takashimaya where I remembered having Zarusoba. It was my first time having it and I was unsure about how it should be eaten.

“I think you are supposed to put the wasabi into the sauce and use it as a dip for the noodles,” Danny suggested.

I tried Danny’s suggestion. For a while we ate in silence. What does one say on a date anyway? I glanced at Danny who seemed nonchalant about the awkward pause. Perhaps that’s normal for a first date? I had dreamed about this date for many months but now that it was actually happening, I had no idea how a date worked.

“The wristband you gave me was really cool,” Danny said, breaking the silence.

I stopped slurping my noodles and smiled at him.

“I had the stones rethreaded using fishing line. All friends were quickly filled with envy upon seeing it and kept asking me where I got it,” Danny continued.

“It’s nothing much. It doesn’t cost a lot either,” I said, realizing for the first time that Danny wasn’t wearing the wristband.

“Then the other day when I was flagging a taxi, the fishing line suddenly broke. The stones scattered all over the road.”

So that’s why you’re not wearing it. “Oh dear, so what did you do?” I enquired.

“There was nothing I could do. Both my hands were full carrying my work and a taxi came. I couldn’t pick up all the pieces so I boarded the taxi,” Danny explained.

Like the scattered pieces of the black stone wristband, that first date with Danny never developed into anything important. Yet as I stood there in front of the souvenir shop, that memory of my first date with Danny brought back a treasured emotion. A feeling of time lost, innocence, youthful inexperience and discovery piled into a moment of reflection.

“给我一串。”

She Has Left

"She has left," you said.

Unreachable

"Are you ok?" I thumbed the sms on my handphone. I had sent an sms this morning but did not get a response from you. Our tour agency also called me earlier to confirm the hotel we would be staying in in Penang. We had given both our contact numbers to the agency, so they must have called me because they couldn't get through to you.

There were a few occasions when you became totally unreachable during the span of our relationship. The first was when you were upset at the start of our relationship because I was unsure about committing to you. The second was when we disagreed about America's reaction to 911 and you became upset with me after our quarrel.

This time I know you just need the space. So I don't press you, leaving a line out in case you need someone to talk to.

Moments later, you replied, "Sorry, been busy. Just sent my mother home and will be going back to the hospital."

"Ok, take care," I messaged.

On The Way To The Hospital

You called on the way to the hospital. Your sister had suffered a stroke the night before.

"I was up till 2 am last night," you said.

"How is she?" I asked.

"Not too good, but doctors have not confirmed anything," you whispered.

"Should I go? Are you okay?" I asked.

"No, don't come. I'm fine."

The Story Of Ah Qiu

There are two fishhead steamboat places along Jalan Sultan, one at the junction with North Bridge Road and another at the junction with Victoria Street. Both have the name of "Nan Hua Chang" on their signboards, but the former has the words "Ah Qiu" added behind its name (in brackets).

"Are they the same?" queried my bewildered sister.

"No," I answered.

"Are they different branches?"

"Not really," I said as I heard you chuckling. So I began to tell sis the story of Ah Qiu.

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The original Nan Hua Chang fishhead steamboat was started by Ah Qiu and his wife at Sims Avenue near Aljunied MRT station. We are not sure if the recipe of the flavourful soup was Ah Qiu's or his wife, but it was very popular. On an average night, patrons wait for about 45 minutes before they are served.

Unfortunately, Ah Qiu and his wife ended their marriage. Ah Qiu gave up Nan Hua Chang at Sims Avenue to his wife and attempted to start a new branch. He found a partner who was willing to support him financially and started another Nan Hua Chang at the junction of Jalan Sultan and Victoria Street.

Soon, the same flavourful soup at the new branch started attracting attention and business flourished.

Ah Qiu's partner decided to expand the business and opened another Nan Hua Chang branch at Jalan Besar. However, he did it without Ah Qiu's knowledge, likely without offering Ah Qiu a share in the new branch.

Ah Qiu was furious. But what was he to do? He was financially too weak to end the partnership. Yet, how could he continue to work with such a partner?

It seemed too much of a coincidence, but just when Ah Qiu was pondering about the future of his business, he struck the lottery. Now he was financially abled and he decided to break the partnership to start his own branch of Nan Hua Chang diagonally opposite to his partner's branch to challenge his partner.

Thus the Nan Hua Chang at the junction of Jalan Sultan and North Bridge Road came into existence. Ah Qiu added his own name to the now famous brand of "Nan Hua Chang" so as to differentiate it from the other branches.

With such direct competition, Ah Qiu's ex-partner soon gave up the branch at Jalan Besar.

And so it is today that there are three branches of Nan Hua Chang in Singapore, the original one at Sims Avenue and two later branches along Jalan Sultan.

Old Places, Old People, Old Tissues And Some Differences

We were having breakfast at Da Lian again.

Again the tissue lady came. We rejected her offer to buy her tissues by pointing to a packet of O'Darling 3-ply on your side of the table and she left.

"How did you manage to find this old brand? I haven't seen it for a while," I said, picking up the packet and studying it for a while. There was a starkness in the anime girl's face that I don't remember and the colours appeared deeper.

"I bought it off a man with one leg," you replied. "He looked really pitiful so I bought some packets from him."

"It looks different."

"Perhaps it's made in a different place now. Malaysia?"

It Is A Dog

It was your first birthday present to me. It came with its sister in a little cage. When I opened the cage door, its sister immediately jumped out to greet me. It, however, was smaller than its sister and was hesitant of leaping the 3 inches from the cage to the kitchen floor. I wrapped my hands around its little tummy and carried it out from the cage.

Once out, it was more curious than its sister. It rushed about the kitchen, exploring and sniffing away.

"Give it a name," you said.

I was stumped and couldn't come up with a name for a long while.

"Name it after the place where we met," you suggested.

Together Yet Apart Yet Together

It was 7:00 PM at McDonalds. I secured the table nearest to the toilet and sat down. The table allowed me a direct view of the queue of customers waiting to order. "Here is good," I thought. "I'll just do my marking here while keeping an eye on the queue. Then when the queue is shorter, I'll walk over and buy a drink." I took out the stack of essays and began to read intently.

It was 7:30 PM. You called telling me you would be late and would not be able to join me for dinner and that I should go ahead and eat without you. "The fish and chips from the western food stall at the coffee shop is good, why not have that?" you suggested. I couldn't stop myself from sighing after you hung up.

It was 8:30 PM. The fish and chips WERE good. Eating alone, however, was quite sad.

It was 9:30 PM. You finally came back with a box of fried bee hoon. You transferred some of the bee hoon into a bowl and handed it to me and we settled in front of the TV watching Shark's Tale. We laughed at the Robert De Niro shark with the mole. "Who's the fish?" you asked. "Will Smith."

The Penal Code Nightmare

Mom said she had a nightmare the other night that it was on the news that all singles were to be given the death sentence. When the police came to arrest me for being unmarried, she ran in desperation after the police van, but as in most nightmares, she was unable to catch up with the vehicle.

Openly, we laughed at the absurdity of the nightmare.

Yet, I can only wonder to myself the subconscious trigger that bore such anxieties.

Guy-friend, Boyfriend

"Pang-Hae Ka Woo Cuk Ke Tik-Tor?" Grandma asked in Teochew.
[Translation: "Did you go anywhere this school holiday?"]

I replied, "Woo."
["Yes."]

"Ke Dee Kor?"
["Where did you go?"]

"Macau," I told her.

"Cek Gai Nang Ke?" she interrogated.
["You went alone?"]

"Ga Peng-You."
["With a friend."]

"Zha-Bow Peng-You Ah See Da-Bou Peng-You?" she pressed.
["Girlfriend or guy-friend?"]

"Da-Bou Peng-You."
["Boyfriend."]

A Light Drizzle In Macau

From amidst the vast expanse of silvery clouds, a light drizzle formed and began to fall. Its threads swayed gently by the mild autumnal breeze, descended onto Avenida de Almeida Ribeiro where we stood. I held an umbrella between us and you held me by my shoulders to get closer under our small shelter. It is thus that we shared a discreet yet cosy embrace.

Public displays of male intimacies are usually frowned upon, except when it rains.

I snuggled up closer to you as the traffic light changed and we began to cross the road.

Casinos And Rolex Watches

All the display windows featured dazzling arrays of branded watches. I grimaced at a diamond-studded gold Rolex with disgust but turned to see you browsing with interest.

"Are they expensive?" I asked, hiding my disinterest.

"I'm not sure. Let me search for a model I'm familiar with," you replied. "How much is 6000 Macau money in Singapore dollars?"

"About $1200."

"It's cheap then. That watch has a resale value of $2000 back home," you said, pointing to a rather plain-looking Rolex.

A single Chinese character on each of the neon signboards of these watch galleries betrayed the shops' true business dealings - they were all shops that resold expensive items given to them as collaterals.

"It's not surprising to see so many of these shops here within close proximities of the Casinos. If you win money, you can buy a Rolex home; if you lose, you can try your luck again after selling off your Rolex."

I thought about the Casinos to be built in Sentosa back in Singapore and wondered if such businesses would be the future of Sentosa.

100 RMB Notes

I picked up a pencil and started marking a little "FF" on each of the hundred RMB notes.

"The usual tactic taxi drivers may employ is simple," you explained. "When you hand them a hundred RMB note for payment, they will pretend to study it. After a while, they will claim that you have given them a counterfeit. However, in the process of returning your note to you, they will switch your real note with one of their own counterfeit ones, thereby profiting your hundred RMB."

"In such a situation, just remain calm," you continue. "Pretend to curse that you have been handed a counterfeit and take your time searching for another note to pay him with. Then, claim that you have lost your passport or identity card and get the driver to take you to the nearest police station. Report the incident to the police when you are there. It is but a simple matter for the police to search the driver and find the marked note you used for payment earlier."

I nodded and started marking the second stack of notes.

TJ At The Gym

Coming through the entrance of the gym, I caught sight of TJ on the decline bench doing crunches. I nudged you and pointed TJ out; we haven't bumped into TJ for a while.

TJ came into the changing room in a while.

"Finished your workout?" I asked casually.

"Ya," he replied smilingly.

As usual, I changed into my gym gear and headed to do my warm-up run while you made a detour to the toilet before heading to the cardio machine. I had done the second set of my third exercise when I saw you stepping onto the cardio machine. "That was a long time to spend in the toilet," I thought, lifting the dumbbells for the third set.

"I was chatting with TJ in the steam room just now," you told me later. "He has been going places."

"No wonder you took so long in the toilet," I answered.

"Seems he will be going out of town these coming weeks."

"That's all he talks about, his trips," I remarked.

"Yes, come to think of it, I have never conversed with him on any other topics but his trips."

Off Day

For months and months, you've been working 7 days a week. Finally, you decided you needed a break. So on Thursday, we woke up at ten and lazed around till noon before making our way downstairs for brunch.

"What do you want to do today?" you asked.

"We could catch a movie with my Citibank rewards movie voucher, go shopping at Sim Lim Square or we could even go over to Johore," I suggested. Then looking at your overworked and haggard face, I added, "Or we could just stay home and watch TV."

"That sounds good," you agreed. "But I have a craving for laksa now."

You joined the queue at the Sungei Road Laksa stall while I picked a table and sat down. Soon you carried a tray with two bowls of laksa to the table. I thought the gravy was rather salty that day but without a pair chopsticks, I was forced to sip down some of the gravy in order to get at the noodle. You, on the other hand, were delighted to finally quench your craving and slurped at the gravy greedily.

Out of nowhere, a hand pushed 6 packets of tissue onto the table and a finger pointed to the one dollar change you obtained paying for the laksa.

Simultaneously, we both refused, telling the tissue lady to retrieve her packet tissues. This time, however, she was quite insistent and refused to move away until you told her that her tissue was unsuitable for our use several times.

"So apparently she has to work afternoons too," I said.

"She's getting desperate," you observed.

"Well, not desperate enough to stop smoking," I replied as the tissue lady lighted up another stick of cigarette.