Reflections After A Wedding

I had just attended a colleague's wedding.

"How was the wedding?" the boy's sms said.

"Charming," I replied, "Almost makes you want to get married yourself."

"LOL," the boy responded.

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My grandmother is in her late eighties. In a subtle way, she always tried to find out about my relationship status. And I always tried to tell her the truth, albeit in a subtle way.

Some may wonder why she needs to be subtle, afterall as a grandmother, she could nag at me to get married as most other grandmothers do. Fortunately for me, as the eldest grandson, I have been enjoying the privilege of always getting my way with her so she doesn't contradict me very much. Furthermore, she knows that if she nags at me, I would switch from the pleasant, filial grandson into a stubborn, defiant, spoilt brat. Thus I have been spared from such conflicts.

Others may suggest for me to come out to her. That's an idea. Though I wonder how she might take that. I certainly don't want to be the one responsible for making her pass out from shock or disappointment that I'll never get married. At her age, who knows what might happen.

Yet, I wonder how she and the rest of my family members would react if I should announce one day that I was getting married... to another man. For some reason, the possible reactions excite me greatly. Almost makes you want to get married yourself.

Recollections Of A First Date

“乌金石，十元一串。”

The price was the same thirteen years ago during my first trip to China. Based on a crush I had on Danny, I had bought the black stone wristband for him and he had reciprocated by treating me to dinner and a movie.

He took me to a Japanese restaurant at Takashimaya where I remembered having Zarusoba. It was my first time having it and I was unsure about how it should be eaten.

“I think you are supposed to put the wasabi into the sauce and use it as a dip for the noodles,” Danny suggested.

I tried Danny’s suggestion. For a while we ate in silence. What does one say on a date anyway? I glanced at Danny who seemed nonchalant about the awkward pause. Perhaps that’s normal for a first date? I had dreamed about this date for many months but now that it was actually happening, I had no idea how a date worked.

“The wristband you gave me was really cool,” Danny said, breaking the silence.

I stopped slurping my noodles and smiled at him.

“I had the stones rethreaded using fishing line. All friends were quickly filled with envy upon seeing it and kept asking me where I got it,” Danny continued.

“It’s nothing much. It doesn’t cost a lot either,” I said, realizing for the first time that Danny wasn’t wearing the wristband.

“Then the other day when I was flagging a taxi, the fishing line suddenly broke. The stones scattered all over the road.”

So that’s why you’re not wearing it. “Oh dear, so what did you do?” I enquired.

“There was nothing I could do. Both my hands were full carrying my work and a taxi came. I couldn’t pick up all the pieces so I boarded the taxi,” Danny explained.

Like the scattered pieces of the black stone wristband, that first date with Danny never developed into anything important. Yet as I stood there in front of the souvenir shop, that memory of my first date with Danny brought back a treasured emotion. A feeling of time lost, innocence, youthful inexperience and discovery piled into a moment of reflection.

“给我一串。”

She Has Left

"She has left," you said.

Unreachable

"Are you ok?" I thumbed the sms on my handphone. I had sent an sms this morning but did not get a response from you. Our tour agency also called me earlier to confirm the hotel we would be staying in in Penang. We had given both our contact numbers to the agency, so they must have called me because they couldn't get through to you.

There were a few occasions when you became totally unreachable during the span of our relationship. The first was when you were upset at the start of our relationship because I was unsure about committing to you. The second was when we disagreed about America's reaction to 911 and you became upset with me after our quarrel.

This time I know you just need the space. So I don't press you, leaving a line out in case you need someone to talk to.

Moments later, you replied, "Sorry, been busy. Just sent my mother home and will be going back to the hospital."

"Ok, take care," I messaged.

On The Way To The Hospital

You called on the way to the hospital. Your sister had suffered a stroke the night before.

"I was up till 2 am last night," you said.

"How is she?" I asked.

"Not too good, but doctors have not confirmed anything," you whispered.

"Should I go? Are you okay?" I asked.

"No, don't come. I'm fine."